Snooki's Baby Boy: Life Advice For The Little Meatball

As we welcome Lil' Lorenzo to the world, we offer him some time-tested advice to help guide him through his formative years.

Early Sunday morning, "Jersey Shore" star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi gave birth to her first child, a 6-pound 5-ounce boy named Lorenzo Dominic LaValle. Lil' Lorenzo's arrival was celebrated by Snooki's "Shore" co-stars — including brand-new "uncle" Pauly D, who wasted no time bestowing an appropriate nickname on the bundle of joy, "Meatball" — and we'd like to join them in offering our sincerest congratulations to both the Snookster and Lorenzo's proud papa, Jionni LaValle.

It's A Boy For Snooki And Jionni!

But since Lorenzo's already got a cool nickname (not to mention more "Shore" onesies than we can possibly imagine), we figured that our congrats probably aren't enough. So we've decided to give him the next best thing: some life advice. Sure, he may be one day old, but it's never too early to start planning ahead. Here are some do's and don'ts for the newest member of the MTV family, in the hopes that all of his days are as magical as his first.
 By James Montgomery (@positivnegativ)